Book Review: In the Time of the Butterflies by Julia Alvarez

This book originally caught my eye because in my senior year of college I took a course on the history of the Dominican Republic and had learned all about Trujillo and his horrible, horrible dictatorship. I also read fiction books similar to this one that combined fact and fiction about the regime and the Trujillo era. Thus, I thought I would read this as a "continuation" of my course.

After reading The Feast of the Goat (a fiction book from my course), my professor at the time had said that almost all of Trujillo fiction books were similar and implied that they were a waste of time to read. I have to admit I partially read this to see if he was right, and I have to say that he was.

This book is about 4 sisters, three of whom were assassinated by Trujillo because they were instrumental in starting a revolution to overthrow the government. Dede was the fourth sister who survived. The other three, Maria Teresa (Mate), Minerva, and Patria were nicknamed Las Mariposas (the butterflies). It gives the tale of their revolution from each of their points of view. It gives a fictional background on how they got involved, what happened while they were imprisoned, and even what happened leading right up to their deaths. It gives you details on their family and their hardships, and it tells a story of Dede's hardships after her sisters' deaths.

The book is divided into four parts. The first three parts have 4 chapters in each, one for each sister. The last part is an epilogue that tells the fictional story of what happened to Dede and the rest of the Maribal family after the deaths of the famous sisters. Each sister has her own way of telling her story which is consistent throughout the book. For example, Maria Teresa's chapters are always laid out in a diary format. The other three, though, are basic prose.

I have to say that this book did suck me in. Even though it was similar to other books I had read about this era, I am still intrigued and baffled by the tales that come out of the Trujillo era, or should I say as a result of the Trujillo era. Even though they are almost always the same--Trujillo sleeps around with young (sometimes underaged) girls, he goes on a killing rampage murdering everyone he thinks will rise up against him, he hires spies to listen in on Dominican citizens in a effort to stop an uprising--they always manage to draw me in. And why wouldn't they?! They have violence, suspense, sex, love-all of the ingredients to make for a juicy novel, even if it is cliche!

Other than being cliche, I thought that the author did a poor job of establishing the setting, especially when it came to Dede. I was never sure really when she was in the "present" or when she was reminiscing. Also the dialogue between the reporter and Dede seemed confusing. I couldn't quite get who was who at first.

I'm not sure I would recommend this book. I mean, I think it was okay, but I don't think I'd have someone go out of their way to read it. The only thing that I can say is that it was an easy enough read that it wouldn't take a lot of time, but for someone who doesn't have much background on the Trujillo era, I'm not sure that they'd be that into it.

Grade: C

Book Review: At Home in the Muddy Water by Ezra Bayda

I just got done reading this book, and I have to say I was really impressed. It took me a couple of weeks to read it not because it was difficult, but because I found that I really just wanted to absorb the material.

After reading Krishnamurti's book, I have to say that this was a great follow up. Bayda provides the reader with a lot of tips on meditation and Zen practice as well as some guidance on what one should be focusing on when practicing. For me, this was really important seeing as how I'm often wondering if "I'm doing it right" or if I'm just going around in circles.

He divides his book into several different parts. In the first part, he lays out "What Practice Is." He introduces it by talking about our ego or the state of being cut off from our awareness of our True Self. He labels this our "substitute life." He talks about how we all have strategies that we use to escape fears that take over our lives. I think one of the most important statements he makes in this part which sums up the purpose of spiritual practice is the following:

"Genuine spiritual practice is never about fixing ourselves, because we're not broken. It's about becoming awake to who we really are, to the vastness of our True Nature, which includes even the parts of ourselves we label as "bad"."

I think one of the most enlightening and assuring points of this part was that he talks about how every person who practices "fails". They get discouraged, confused, often times taking a break or temporarily leaving the practice. He gives suggestions and talks about the different phases of discouragement and how to overcome them. I thought this was particularly reassuring since I often wonder if it is normal for me to have those feelings. He basically says that it is all part of a person's path.

I also really liked how he stressed what clear seeing actually is, and what practicing is actually about, or better yet, he gives you a broad, yet clear indication of what practicing will end up making a person see about themselves.

"Clear seeing is not the same as psychoanalyzing; we're not focusing on the past or trying to figure out why we think or behave as we do. This is an important point. We're simply attempting to observe ourselves as we are. As we begin seeing through our beliefs and strategies, we inevitably find judge and find fault with ourselves. But part of the practice of clear seeing is to observe our mind's tendency to judge and to notice how often we're not even aware of accepting our judgments as truth."

What a statement- we're not even aware of accepting our judgments as truth. This was the part that really drew me in. I think about how often I judge people or things or situations and my mind instantly takes these statements as truths. In fact I even managed to practice with that in mind for a day-watching my judgments and seeing how quickly I treat them as fact. I can tell you it's amazing what you find out about yourself.

In the next part of the book-"Attachment and Ideals"-Bayda starts off by talking about attachments. He describes attachments as the following:

"Attachments are simple beliefs-fantasies, in fact- that have become solidified as "truth" in our mind. They also partake of the energy of desire, which is based on the underlying belief that without some particular person or thing, we can never be free from suffering. Attachment also takes the form of avoidance; we believe we can't be happy as long as a particular person, condition, or object is in our lives."

This chapter on attachments led into the next chapter- addiction. Bayda opens up with the premise that we are all addicted to comfort. He talks about how each of us manipulate our lives, our thoughts, our beliefs to find comfort and avoid pain. He talks about how we are also addicted to our thoughts, our self-judgments, and our identities.

In the third part, Bayda talks about relationships. To me, this was the eye-opener of the book, but there were also points that I have to question.

Bayda starts off with this strong point:

"This is a key point; almost all of our relationship difficulties come from wanting something or someone to be different."

Think about your own relationships and hard times. Why did you have them? Because he/she wasn't giving you something you wanted or felt you needed? Exactly. Bayda argues that we were taught that relationships are supposed to give us something to make us feel better. As a result, we walk into every relationship (romantic, friendships, parental, etc.) with expectations, preferences, requirements. This transitions into the fact that we care for someone as long as they satisfy our needs and make us feel a special way.

He moves on to talk about how we transmit those expectations, "needs", etc. on to the other person, turning them into something they aren't, forcibly involving them in an unspoken pact that they have to meet these expectations. When that person doesn't (not if...when, because it is inevitable), we are exposed to fear and hurt, turning the other person into our enemy.

How do we move past this? How can we experience a relationship without all of these expectations? Bayda proposes that we have to learn to stop blaming others when we find ourselves in the middle of an emotional conflict. This means that we have to realize that all of our emotional distress comes from something we ourselves created. When we start to see this, we start to see our expectations and as we dig deeper, we see that these expectations actually come from our own fears and insecurities such as rejection or feelings of unworthiness.

I think the chapter that I had the hardest time agreeing with was the chapter on trust. Bayda proposes that when we feel as though our sense of trust has been shaken it is once again because our projections and expectations have been rejected. We feel groundlessness and pain. So far, I agree. However, as he moves into this topic he talks about how we need to deal with our projections and expectations and once we do, we will find that trust is almost a null topic because we will come to trust everyone. I suppose my problem with this is where do you draw the line? For example, if a person hits me, is my sense of trust not supposed to be shaken? At what point do I stop eliminating my expectations in a person? I agree that trust is more of a standard and mechanism to bar ourselves from fear, but at the same time, is it not needed so we aren't abused or taken for granted? Just something to think about.

All in all, I really enjoyed this book, and I would highly recommend it to someone who is interested in practicing or is even interested in spirituality. It makes you think and it definitely forces you to look at yourself, your thoughts, feelings, judgments, etc. Great read.

Recipe: Risotto-Style Peppered Rice

My problem with this recipe was that it wasn't risotto. It didn't have the texture of risotto, which is the creamy, rich flavor. The melted cheese tried to cover it up, as did the chicken broth, but I still wasn't a huge fan. I also thought it needed more salt. I simply wasn't all that pleased with the outcome.

Taste grade: C-

It was easy to make, and it was done in about 4 hours. I enjoyed watching it get done, especially when I added the cheese. However, the appearance and actually cooking of it far outshines the final product, in my opinion.

Cook grade: B+

Here's the recipe:

Risotto-Style Peppered Rice (from Slow Cooker: Appetizers, Soups, Stews, Sandwiches, Sides, and Delicious Desserts, 2005)

1 cup uncooked converted long grain rice
1 medium green bell pepper, chopped
1 medium red bell pepper, chopped
1 cup chopped onion
1/2 teaspoon ground turmeric
1/8 teaspoon ground red pepper (optional)
1 can (14 1/2 ounces) fat free chicken broth
4 ounces Monterey Jack cheese with jalapeno peppers, cubed*
1/2 cup milk
1/4 cup butter, cubed
1 teaspoon salt

Place rice, bell peppers, onion, turmeric, and red pepper, if desired, into slow cooker. Stir in broth. Cover; cook on low 4 to 5 hours or until rice is done.

Stir in cheese, milk, butter and salt; fluff rice with fork. Cover; cook on low 5 minutes or until cheese melts.

*I used 1 1/4 cup of shredded pepper jack cheese.

Over all grade: C

Recipe: Southwestern-Style Chicken

Over all I liked this dish. I thought that the chicken was tender, and I liked the twist with the taco seasoning. However, I still think it could use some tweaking. I didn't add enough salt and pepper to it in the crock pot, so that was on me. Although, I still feel like it needed something. Although, I admittedly didn't use the diced tomatoes with jalapenos. I just used regular diced tomatoes since my family doesn't like hot foods. I also am not sure if I would use the flour and the taco seasoning to coat the chicken. I think I would just use the taco seasoning in the future and that's it. However, I didn't cook the chicken on the stove top (as I'll explain later) like the recipe called for either, so that could've been a part of my slight disappointment in taste. In summary, I thought it was a good break from what we normally have, and I would recommend it for others, although with the disclaimer to be open to adding their own flair.

Taste grade: B-

I have a philosophy about crock pot recipes-what's the point in cooking things in a crock pot if you have to cook the food beforehand? You might as well just cook the food on the stove top or in the oven. Thus, when the recipe told me to cook the food before putting it in the crock pot, I didn't do it. I thought it was easy to put together and there was very minimal clean up. It didn't take all 6-7 hours either. It took about 5.

Cook grade: A-

Here's the recipe. I'll add my tweaks and disclaimers on the bottom.

Southwestern-Style Chicken (from Slow Cooker: Appetizers, Soups, Stews, Sandwiches, Sides, and Delicious Desserts, 2005)

6 to 8 boneless skinless chicken thighs or breasts*
1 package (about 1 1/4 ounces) taco seasoning mix
1/4 cup flour
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
1 large onion, cut into 1-inch pieces
2 green peppers, cut into 1 inch pieces
1 can (14 1/2 ounces) diced tomatoes with jalapenos, undrained
Salt and pepper

Trim visible fat from chicken.

Reserve one teaspoon taco seasoning. Combine flour and remaining seasoning in plastic food storage bag. Add chicken, 1 to 2 pieces at a time; shake to coat.

Heat oil in large skillet over medium-high heat; brown chicken. Transfer chicken to slow cooker; sprinkle with reserved seasoning.**

Add onion to skillet; cook and stir until translucent. Transfer onion to slow cooker. Top with green peppers and tomatoes with juice. Cover; cook on low 6 to 7 hours or until chicken is tender. Season with salt and pepper to taste.***

*I used 8 pieces.

**I skipped this step all together, and just added all of the ingredients the recipe calls for in the crock pot. I did coat the chicken with the flour and taco seasoning. I sprinkled the left over taco seasoning on top once I put all the other stuff in the crock pot.

***To compensate for the fact that I didn't cook the chicken first, I simply put the crock pot on high for 2 hours to cook the chicken. After that I lowered it to the low setting, which is how it cooked for a remaining 2-2 1/2 hours.

Over all grade: B

Book Review: Freedom from the Known by Krishnamurti

I just got done reading this book. I wanted to share it with you because frankly I think it was one of the deepest, most challenging, and most open and honest reads I've ever experienced. It is only 124 pages, but the content makes it feel like it is 124,000 pages.

It is a philosophical book. For some that might mean it is particularly dry, but I find that if your attention is lost it is not because of a lack of interest, but more because of a lack of understanding. It truly forces you to question everything you know and the way you live.

Krishnamurti addresses everything in this book-religion, fears, relationships, humility, meditation, love, pleasure, pain, etc. In some ways he comes off as condescending and almost conceited, but the more I think about it, while this could very well be (he is human after all), it could also be because of a lack of understanding of the topic at hand on my part.

I confess that I often find myself pondering the meaning of life (a big question, I know) and what my purpose is. This often transitions into, "How can I live, truly live, appreciate, and savor every single moment that I experience, and further, what do I need to do to get everything out of this life that I desire?" This, basically, is what Krishnamurti seems to address. He gives us a challenge of awareness, which in his view, is the only way in which we can savor each moment and live each moment in a fresh, new way.

Within the first ten pages of the book, Krishnamurti is already telling us to let go of our inclination to be fed beliefs by others, to challenge our way of thinking, going as far as to criticize us over it:

"For centuries we have been spoon-fed by our teachers, by our authorities, by our books, our saints. We say, 'Tell me all about it--what lies beyond the hills and the mountains and the earth?' and we are satisfied with their descriptions, which means that we live on words and our life is shallow and empty. We are second-hand people. We have lived on what we have been told, either guided by our inclinations, our tendencies, or compelled to accept by circumstances and environment. We are the result of all kinds of influences and there is nothing new in us, nothing that we have discovered for ourselves; nothing original, pristine, clear."

He talks about what it means to be free of this authority. He describes it as "dying to everything of yesterday," which leaves your mind fresh and young.

Krishnamurti constantly asks you questions throughout the book. I think one of the most basic and the most important is when he asks if you are aware that you are conditioned. He uses this example:

"Do you know that even when you look at a tree and say, 'That is an oak tree,' or 'that is a banyan tree', the naming of the tree, which is botanical knowledge, has so conditioned your mind that the word comes between you and actually seeing the tree? To come in contact with the tree you have to put your hand on it and the word will not help you to touch it."

I thought this was a really important passage. How can we experience everything as if it were new? For instance, I look at a tree and say, "Oh that's a tree," ignoring every other element, whether it be its blossoms, trunk, or leaves. I'm not living to experience the tree. I'm not seeing the tree. I'm not cherishing the moment with the tree. This is because of my conditioning and knowledge.

Later on in the book, Krishnamurti talks about the topic of "me", and how we are ashamed to say that we are most concerned with ourselves. He says:

"Some of us would say that it is wrong to be primarily interested in ourselves. But what is wrong about it except that we seldom decently, honestly, admit it? If we do, we are rather ashamed of it. So there it is--one is fundamentally interested in oneself, and for various ideological or traditional reasons one thinks it is wrong. But what one thinks is irrelevant. Why introduce the factor of its being wrong? That is an idea, a concept. What is a fact is that one is fundamentally and lastingly interested in oneself.

"You may say that it is more satisfactory to help another than to think about yourself. What is the difference? It is still self concern. If it gives you greater satisfaction to help others, you are concerned about what will give you greater satisfaction."

I think this is really important. I hear it all of the time--people think it is rude or "self centered" to be so...well, self centered. Everyone is self-centered. First and foremost, we are concerned for our own well-being, status, power, health, etc. And as Krishnamurti suggests, why shouldn't we be? It's only natural. I'm not saying to become narcissistic. I'm saying that he's right-we should be willing to admit that we are concerned about our own selves first and foremost and there is nothing wrong with it.

Fear is another topic that is extremely deep in this book. In fact in his view, fear is the reason why we don't live this life with full awareness. He believes that we are afraid to see ourselves as we are, so we identify with other images, comparing ourselves, observing things and dismissing the things that are distasteful to us and accepting the things that aren't. In my opinion, this is the deepest part of the book.

So, in the end, how do we get over our conditioning? How do we go about getting over our fears? Meditation. He describes meditation as the following:

"Meditation demands an astonishingly alert mind, meditation is the understanding of the totality of life in which every form of fragmentation has ceased. Meditation is not control of thought, for when thought is controlled it breeds conflict in the mind, but when you understand the structure and origin of thought, which we have already been into, then thought will not interfere. That very understanding of the structure of thinking is its own discipline which is meditation.

"Meditation is to be aware of every thought and of every feeling, never to say it is right or wrong but just to watch it and move with it. In that watching you begin to understand the whole movement of thought and feeling."

I always felt that meditation was important, but I think the thing that was most profound about this was it brought me back to what meditation is really about. It's about awareness and observation, not controlling or repressing your thoughts, simply watching. It's a difficult task, believe it or not, but I sincerely do believe it's one that is necessary.

In the end I will say that this book was profound and left me with many questions about myself and those around me. I think in the least it set me on a path that could at least prove beneficial to my goal of experiencing the world around me for what it is and getting out of it what I desire.

I highly recommend this book.

Recipe: Yuletide Linzer Bars

This was the third and last cookie I made for the holidays. I didn't go too overboard since my mom was making some as well.

I liked these. They were a favorite amongst the family as well. They are good with a hot cup of coffee or tea. The crust is like a crumble, with a light cinnamon flavor and ground almonds. The raspberry preserves in the middle at a delicious tartness to it that allows the cookie bar to not be too overbearingly sweet. I thought the raspberry was a great touch (as opposed to cherry or any other flavor).

Taste grade: A

Baking these were quite fun, in my opinion. The hardest part was crushing the almonds and putting the dough on top of the preserves. I noticed that there is just enough dough to make the bars. No waste, which we all know I love. In fact, the top will have holes in it and won't quite cover the preserves in parts, which is perfectly fine. After they come out of the oven, they are easy- one and done. Sprinkle some powdered sugar on top and your finished! Over all, I think this was the most put together and best recipe out of the three that I did.

Cook grade: A+

Here is the recipe:

Yuletide Linzer Bars (from Santa's Favorite Cookies: Sweet Treats for the Christmas Season, 1999)

1 1/3 cups butter or margarine, softened
3/4 cup sugar
1 egg
1 teaspoon grated lemon peel
2 1/2 cups all purpose flour
1 1/2 cups whole almonds, ground
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
3/4 cup raspberry preserves
Powdered sugar

Preheat oven to 350. Grease 13 x 9 inch baking pan.

Beat butter and sugar in large bowl with electric mixer until creamy. Beat in egg and lemon peel until blended. Mix in flour, almonds, and cinnamon until well blended.

Press 2 cups dough into bottom of prepared pan. Spread preserves over crust. Press remaining dough, a small amount at a time, evenly over preserves.

Bake 35 to 40 minutes until golden brown. Cool in pan on wire rack. Sprinkle with powdered sugar; cut into bars.

Recipe: Mocha Crinkles

Another one of my Christmas cookies was called "Mocha Crinkles". I picked this one because a) I like mocha and b) I thought the picture in the recipe book looked cool. Let's be honest- that's the reason why most of us pick a recipe.

These particular cookies are very cake-y when you taste them. They are PACKED with a big chocolate flavor. You get a very slight coffee after taste. I thought they tasted pretty good, but like I said, because it has a rich chocolate flavor, make sure you have milk nearby. Over all, I thought they were better than what I had thought they were going to turn out to be.

Taste grade: A-

As far as making them, they were pretty simple to make. In fact, I think I liked making them better than eating them. When you make them, though, I have to warn you that they have a strong coffee scent. Don't worry! It's not that strong in flavor once they are made (as I said above). It was really neat seeing them "crinkle" in the oven. The only thing about them is that you have to let them set in the refrigerator for a few hours before you make them.

Bake grade: A

I think these would be a nice addition to any sort of cookie gift basket. I do have to say that they crumble easily, though.

Ok, so here's the recipe:

Mocha Crinkles (from Santa's Favorite Cookies: Sweet Treats for the Christmas Season)

1 1/3 cups firmly packed light brown sugar
1/2 cup vegetable oil
1/4 cup low-fat sour cream
1 egg
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 3/4 cups all-purpose flour
3/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
2 teaspoons instant espresso or coffee granules
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/8 teaspoon ground black pepper
1/2 cup powdered sugar

Beat brown sugar and oil in medium bowl with electric mixer. Mix in sour cream, egg, and vanilla, set aside.

Mix flour, cocoa, espresso, baking soda, salt and pepper in another medium bowl.

Add flour mixture to brown sugar mixture; mix well. Refrigerate dough until firm, 3 to 4 hours.

Preheat oven to 350. Pour powdered sugar into shallow bowl. Set aside. Cut dough into 1 inch pieces; roll into balls. Roll balls in powdered sugar.

Bake on ungreased cookie sheets 10 to 12 minutes or until tops of cookies are firm to touch. Do not overbake. Cool on wire racks.


Over all grade: A-