Buddhism: Interconnectedness

And this week’s post…

Interconnectedness.  This has been the focus of my practice this week. I’ve been thinking a lot about how we are all connected to each other and to other (non)living things. For example, for the past couple of weeks I’ve had the strongest urge to plant flowers, vegetables, anything as long as I got my hands dirty. Finally I caved yesterday and bought myself some seeds and some dirt pellets to get started (late in the season, I know).  However, as I thought about it, this urge fits into my journey towards interconnectedness. My energy in planting the flowers and helping them grow is essential to their well-being just like the production of their vegetables and oxygen are necessary to mine. However, it doesn’t end there.  With that little plant I am also impacting the bugs and insects, soil, and over all air quality for others. Through the mere action of me placing a seed in some soil, I am impacting the lives of so many.

In the wake of this horrible tragedy in Aurora, I think this lesson of interconnectedness is also incredibly important.  The fact is this wasn’t just a heinous act committed on a group of people.  It was something committed on everyone. Furthermore it was committed by someone in this global community. His actions are felt by victims’ family members, friends, loved ones, his own family members and friends, as well as neighbors, bystanders, and people who are otherwise unaffected but may feel heartache after reading about it in the news. Tragically, this disgusting and violent act is felt by so many because we are all interconnected. (Side note: My sympathies and prayers are with everyone who was directly affected by this.)

While interconnectedness has been the theme of my spiritual practice this week, I would like to also mention something that I read this morning in Rodney Smith’s book.  He was talking about how often times our minds fool us into believing that we are experiencing the heart’s desire of compassion and, yes, interconnectedness when in fact we are simply experiencing something that the mind has made up.  He followed this up with examples such as “nice substituting for kindness” and “seriousness substituting for sincerity.”  I admit that often times I am wondering if it is my heart or mind ruling a situation and sometimes I am easily sucked into believing it's my heart if I find that I am incredibly happy or feeling slightly generous one day.  However, I think the key here is to always question where thoughts and actions are coming from.  Even if they are truly from the heart, always question and investigate and be mindful of when the sense of self comes into play.

This coming week is the last full week of my intensive refresher on Buddhism. I’m slowly starting to think about what my next month’s focus will be.  I will probably be focusing on something a little bit more mundane-perhaps sewing?

Well, until next week! Namaste!

Buddhism: What is this moment?

This is actually last week's post, but I forgot to put it up here.

Last week my re-acquaintance with Buddhism took its all familiar turn toward confusion and muddled lessons.  The biggest problem I have in my practice is often that I twist or forget what I'm supposed to be doing.  I find that when I focus on my spiritual practice, it's so easy to delve into other aspects-religion, the metaphysical, guardians, guides, etc.-that I forget I'm simply here to experience the moment.  Of course, the Buddhist peer or teacher would probably say this is my ego attempting to distract me from itself and I would wager that this is most likely accurate.

While my practice appears to be losing sincere focus, I can say that my meditation and daily mindfulness practice has begun to bear some fruit.  Although still not easily identifiable, I've begun to recognize my own conditioning and its inherent suffering.

Two Sundays ago I was watching this video about Buddhism and the narrator was talking about "identity."  He mentioned how we tend to define ourselves by our permanent identity and yet we don't have one.  There is no permanent identity that moves from one moment to the next.  So, what are we holding on to exactly? I thought this was the perfect embodiment and teaching of the three lessons/realizations of Buddhism: 1) all is suffering, 2) all is impermanent, and 3) nothing has any self.

Rodney Smith's book taught me two lessons last week.  Firstly, and perhaps the most important because I'm often wondering how will I know if my actions or words are wise or unwise, ego serves my needs based upon fears and desires.  Thus, if my words or actions are based from my fears or desires I know they are coming from an unwise place.

Secondly, Smith talks about how our conditioning teaches us to resist our fears and things that are contrary to our  beliefs.  He says to overcome this resistance we should simply surrender to the moment.  To be honest, I'm not a fan of the word "surrender".  I prefer to simply say "drop my barriers."  I think it more accurately describes what is happening or what Smith describes is happening.

As I muddle through my murky lessons of no-self, suffering, and impermanence, I will leave everyone with these two questions- "Who are you? What is this moment?"

Buddhism: Increasing Awareness and Questioning my Sincerity

Last week I found myself trying to increase my awareness and identify my sense-of-self in my everyday activities. Even now I am aware of my mind thinking about what I’m going to do after I write this post instead of embracing the stillness of Now. By doing this, I’ve been able to see how often I move away from my suffering as opposed to towards it, and I’ve been amazed how often my mind tries to uncover or create a problem in my heightened awareness where this is none.

Rodney Smith’s book has continued to keep me on track and question my conditioning. I think most importantly he has provided me with reference points where I am able to identify where I am on my path and what I need to do to further my progress.

One of the more interesting things that he has mentioned is how our minds are constantly creating mental alternatives to our reality and seeking solutions to problems that are non-existent. It is the smaller conflicts of agitation, worry, restlessness, etc. that cause us the most suffering because of how they build up over time. As a result of these conflicts, the mind desires to manipulate a person’s reality because of perceived discomfort. For example, a person is agitated because a room is too cold, so she desires to change the temperature. In this particular scenario the person has perceived that the cool temperature is a negative thing and as a result has grown a negative attachment. Thus, as a result of this attachment, the person has developed agitation, a form of suffering. If the person were to examine the feeling of the cool temperature without any positive or negative attachment thereby letting go of her agitation, she would find that she would have no desire to manipulate her reality to suit her.

I think the biggest lesson I have learned (this week) from Smith is to question everything. The very essence of the Dharma is to hold a questioning attitude toward everything and rest on the certainty of nothing. Even in determining one’s practice, you have to question what you are doing and for what purpose. Smith mentions that even then there are only certain questions that come out of wise view. Those questions that start with “what” and “who” are much better than “why” or “how”. My take on it is that asking the question of “why” assumes that the subject of the question, which we have perceived through our unwise view, actually is. Thus, “what” is more appropriate because you are re-examining your perception of the subject and thus are able to reexamine your attachment to it.

The lesson that has me thinking the most this week is Smith’s words on sincerity and intention. He describes people as having 2 intentions in their practice-one that comes from the heart (primary intention) and one that comes from the mind (secondary). The primary intention, as Smith defines it, is always peace. The secondary is your mundane desires, conditioning, and suffering. Ultimately, you have to come to the realization that your primary intention is more important and forego the desires of the secondary. This is not always easy and frankly, this is what determines how serious you are about your practice. Of course, this has me thinking about whether I am able to do what is necessary and if my true intention toward enlightenment is strong enough. Have I ultimately experienced enough suffering from my secondary desires to know the value of peace?

This week I will be continuing on my month long dedication to Buddhism. Stay tuned for more insight. Namaste!

No-Self: Re-Examining my Perspective

Lately I have been disconnected and disenfranchised with my Buddhist practice, not because I don’t agree with its fundamentals, but more because of my frustration in what seems to be a lack of growth and commitment. As a result, I decided that I would take a month to refresh myself on what Buddhism exactly is and perhaps figure out where I am leading myself astray.

I have started reading Stepping out of Self-Deception: the Buddha’s Liberating Teaching of No-Self by Rodney Smith. With just three chapters in, I have to admit that I have already found many errors in my own practice. My perception has been all wrong.

In the first chapter of this book, I received my first “Aha!” moment. Smith talks about how we are not possessors of our minds, but rather our minds form “us”. Our minds created how we see ourselves, along with everything else in our lives. As Smith so aptly states, “We exist only because the mind thinks us into creation.” Thus, we cannot see ourselves as separate from our minds. We are whole. When we see both as separate, which we often do, we create a competition and divide between “ourselves” and our minds, which ultimately leads us down a path of suffering.

This idea of separation translates into how we approach our spiritual and everyday lives as well. There is this idea, and I am guilty of this too, that we must compartmentalize our spiritual lives and our secular lives; however if “the call of spiritual practice is to examine and understand what we are” and if we are to truly obtain a Wise View, how can we separate our practice from the way we live our lives and still obtain our spiritual Enlightenment? The answer is simple-we can’t. We have to come to understand that the sacred lies in the Now.

Smith also discusses something that I am admittedly guilty of and I know that several others are too, which is infusing Buddhist items and symbols with sacred meaning. This perception only inhibits us because we only feel spiritual when we interact with these items and practices. As I mentioned in the previous paragraph, Buddhism is not inhabited in any particular experience or item. It is inhabited in our general experience and perspective.

Finally, I think one of the most important things that I have read so far is Smith’s view on meditation, which is most certainly a practice that I have been struggling with. He describes meditation’s purpose as informing us about the true nature of relationships and interconnectedness. When aligned with these principles, we “lose our self-centered perspective, abandon our defenses, and release ourselves into the intimacy and ease at hand. There are no goals or direction, there is nothing for the self to feed upon, and everything is represented equally. The experience itself is sufficient. In meditation the struggle is that we feel less self-fulfilled but more spiritually fulfilled. To the sense-of-self, meditation may become frustrating because there is not and never will be vindication of our efforts. Frustration indicates we are caught in an unwise view.” This is extremely important. I often times create a “goal” out of meditation- what do I want out of it? What am I aiming for? Smith indicates that in itself, there is no goal other than to experience and at some point realize interconnectedness. To get frustrated or to aim for anything else is the sense-of-self (also called the ego self) calling out, which leads us away from the path we are trying to walk.

Each day I struggle with where I am in life and where I want to be, how to get there, etc. (As Smith would say, my sense-of-self is creating a problem and I am operating very much on a horizontal plane as opposed to a vertical one.) Ultimately, I’ve recently come to the resolution to simply live each day as the person that I want to be and to somehow rise above any situation and act in a way that I would be proud. While it sounds good, I realize that in this statement alone, there is an abounding sense-of-self. How do I change that? When I ask that question, I can feel fear well up inside of me as my ego screams, “Are you trying to get rid of me?! You can’t live without me!” It’s undoubtedly a scary thing as I have not known anything else but my interaction and life with my ego self, which is comprised of every decision I have made and every perception that I have. It’s hard to imagine that I would get rid of it. Or would I get rid of it? Perhaps I am making an assumption that shouldn’t be made.

Smith begins this book by talking about how Western Buddhism has forgotten about the Buddha’s ultimate teaching of no-self, instead concentrating on “sacred” items and practices such as meditation and retreats. I tend to agree. Often times when I am explaining to someone what Buddhism actually is, the words can’t seem to come to me. The words “lots of meditation” always seem to come to my mind, which tells me that I have fallen into the same trap that Smith describes. I can say that by reading his book, I find more depth to Buddhism and its meaning—something that I have been desperately looking for (or perhaps have just simply forgotten). The no-self lesson is the ultimate lesson of Buddhism—to escape the damaging perceptions of the ego self, which instigate suffering and pain—which will ultimately lead to the place of Enlightenment and the ability to truly experience awareness and the present.

Book Review: Banker to the Poor

Just a quick blurb... This book is such an inspiration to me. I'm astounded at how thought out Yunus' work is. In an effort to create a real and lasting solution to ending world poverty, Yunus has begun to create an entire market dedicated to social consciousness. His ability to identify the needs of the poorest individuals (or as he likes to call them-the real poor) and families and address them by creating a system specifically dedicated to them is admirable. Critics often argue that Yunus is really just creating a cycle of lending and debt for the poor. I'd agree to some extent, but only if you view his idea as being strictly banking transactions. If you look at the entire system he is creating I'd argue that those of us who are fortunate enough to not qualify for Grameen are caught in our own market's cycle of debt and, in fact, could be even more at the mercy of the market than even the clients of Grameen. At least Yunus has the well-being of his lenders at heart. Who can say that about Bank of America or any other corporate bank these days? Furthermore, is it not true that Yunus is creating a system that enables these families to live better lives? They are now able to eat, be educated, and find a sense of pride they previously lacked. Is this not progress? I would never argue that Grameen is fool-proof and is the only solution to ending poverty. In fact, even Yunus agrees that it is not the only solution. However, I would say that it is an excellent start to a movement and work that quite simply has to be done. I highly recommend this book.

Project Update(s)

I thought I would just pop in for a quick second and post a picture of a sewing project I'm working on. I got the pattern and the material last year, but never got around to it. It's actually my first piece of clothing I've ever worked on while using a pattern. As of today this was the status (also-it sadly has taken me a month to get here...lots of mistakes, lol):

Also, I want to announce that I have a new project that I've been working on for the past couple of months. I'm super excited about it. I'll be debuting it within the next couple of months or so. I want to post more content before I officially launch it. Get excited!!!

Book Review: The Life of Milarepa

I was assigned (and actually read) this book in a Buddhist class that I took during college. My take on it this time around in comparison to the first time I read it is completely different.

The first time I read this book I thought Milarepa was amazing and the story of his life was simply incredible (some of it quite literally). I thought he was truly the pinnacle of what it meant to be a Buddhist. I mean he meditated consecutively for years of his life in hidden caves in Tibet, starving himself physically, but spiritually feasting off of the enlightening teachings of the Dharma. His death was a spectacle of sorts. The dakinis (Budhhist gods/goddesses) honored him and greeted him as he entered the heavenly realm and all was great. He seemed to truly be the saint that they made him out to be.

This time not so much. As I read the book, I realized how full of himself he was. Milarepa definitely came off extremely arrogant and at times elitist. Furthermore, his drive to meditate and realize the dharma teaching was a result of fear and penance for the evil deeds he had done in his youth. Ultimately, he didn’t want to get sent to purgatory, so out of that fear, he attained “enlightenment”. I find this discouraging because I have been taught that while one may not necessarily dissolve all of one’s fears, one can come to realize them and recognize when they are affecting our decisions, and yes, at times dissolve them. I don’t think Milarepa ever really did this which made me question his level of enlightenment. I suppose as I write this I have to realize that I shouldn’t really be one to judge considering I don’t have any real experience in the matter.

I think another thing that strikes me about this story (as it does the story of the Buddha) is his method of attaining enlightenment. He essentially runs from his life and what he did in order to find himself. I just feel as though if one is going to find enlightenment is it really through running from your life? To me, that’s not being mindful or compassionate at all. However, I do realize that this book is based off of the Tibetan beliefs, which are strongly rooted in the idea that enlightenment can only be attained through isolation and meditation. It is more the Western Buddhism that concentrates on mindfulness in everyday life. Furthermore, this story is dated through hundreds of years and techniques and ideas on how to practice Buddhism has changed since then.

Note- Milarepa’s evil deeds consisted of casting hailstorms and destroying crops in his home village so that his aunt and uncle, who treated him and his mom poorly, would starve. In so doing this, he also made the rest of the town starve.

I think this story is OK to read. I wouldn’t recommend it to someone who is just coming into Buddhism because I think it is a little difficult to absorb. I mean, I found it to be a difficult (and dull) read at times, particularly in the lengthy introduction, and I have been practicing Buddhism for three years now (not like that is any sort of indication as to my level of knowledge). However, I think it is an OK read for someone who is a little more advanced into the practice, perhaps as an inspiration, but more of a history lesson and to give some background and context.