What does “Right Speech” mean?

While reading one of Thich Nhat Hanh’s books (more to come on this in the next week or so), I came across his interpretation of the five precepts, which he refers to as the five mindfulness trainings.  One thing I’ve been really trying to work on is “Right Speech”, which is the fourth mindfulness training. I think Thay phrases it beautifully:

“Aware of the suffering caused by unmindful speech and the inability to listen to others, I am committed to cultivate loving speech and deep listening in order to bring joy and happiness to others and relieve others of their suffering. Knowing that words can create happiness or suffering, I am committed to learn to speak truthfully, with words that inspire self-confidence, joy, and hope. I am determined not to spread news that I do not know to be certain and not to criticize or condemn things of which I am not sure. I will refrain from uttering words that can cause division or discord, or that can cause the family or the community to break. I will make all efforts to reconcile and resolve all conflicts, however small.”

We are socially taught that it is rude or unacceptable to be silent, even more so now with internet forums such as Twitter or Facebook where everyone who is anyone is chiming in their opinion on everything.  A lot of these opinions are less than helpful, often uneducated, and frankly are just meant to hurt another person at any cost. To me it’s all a bunch of unnecessary noise.

Speaking has become so impulsive. I’m quick to realize that right speech doesn’t just come from my mouth. It comes from my frame of mind. I’ve noticed that as soon as a judgment or thought enters my mind, I’ve already begun to communicate it—not just through words, but through facial and bodily expressions and sensations. The idea of “Right Speech” is truly something more difficult to grasp than the simple, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, then don’t say anything at all”. While this is certainly a piece of it, I think it goes a lot deeper. Simply closing my mouth and not speaking harmful words is one thing (and certainly helpful); however, it does not address the fact that I have not opened my mind large enough to accept what is in front of me.

Thus, I’ve decided to take this next month to commit to this mindfulness training seriously.  I’m going to strive to be more deliberate with my words and see communication as a helpful tool rather than something to be taken advantage of.

In the meantime I challenge you--The next time you are about to post something angry, condescending, or negative on the internet (or say such things to another person), I ask that you stop and examine how your body feels. Are you tense? Do you have a sick feeling in your stomach? Perhaps your chest feels tight? Feel the physical sensations. Then think of something nice to say. What does your body do? Does it relieve that tension? I challenge you to do the same thing when you read something mean that another person says and when you read something nice that another person says. I guarantee you there is a difference in the way your body reacts. Words can be poison or they can be medicine. YOU are the difference in how they are used. I ask that you please use them for healing. It makes the world that much better.

Bucket List: #70 Get a “Different” Hair Cut

Yes, I formed a bucket list.  There’s a ton of stuff on it too, so I hope to live a long life.

Some of you may be asking why something so simple is on my list.  Well, let me give you some background.  I’ve had my hair chemically relaxed since I was 13.  As a result, my hair has always been somewhat long.  Of course, this was mostly in response to the societal cues (in my community at least) that if you don’t have long, straight (and preferably blonde) hair, you’re unattractive. Thus, although not blonde, I tried to fit into the mold with straight, relaxed, shoulder-length hair that often times was scrunched up into a ponytail since I didn’t want to take the time to flat iron it.  It’s not that I didn’t like my hair, but I found it to be a lot more time consuming and difficult to take care of.  Not to mention, my hair can be quite fussy.  In the end, I’ve generally had the same hair style for over a decade. 

After 12 years of getting my hair straightened and noticing a severe decline in the health of my hair and my scalp as a direct result of the chemicals, I felt it was time to move on. Last October after my final relaxer, I vowed to grow out my natural mane and never look back.  The original plan was to leave my relaxed hair in until my new tresses grew out to a long enough length.  I decided I definitely didn’t want a mini-fro and wanted to avoid the fro in general.

Well, as most transitioning individuals know, you reach a point when you just can’t handle the “half and half” anymore.  After my impatience and frustration peaked this past weekend, I decided I’d had enough. I couldn’t style my hair anymore- I couldn’t flat-iron my hair or I’d risk damaging my new growth and I couldn’t pull it back anymore because the new growth wasn’t being pulled back.  Not to mention, I couldn’t get to my new growth to properly take care of it.  I decided this would be the perfect opportunity to do something particularly “daring” and step outside of my comfort zone. Time to upgrade my look and knock off something on my bucket list. I took some scissors and cut out the relaxed hair. For future reference, I don’t recommend this strategy. The next day I got it trimmed up and evened out and now I’m rocking the best afro ever. 

I do confess, however, that I can still feel some anxiety over the whole thing. Over the past few days, this has challenged me in a numerous ways and some insecurities about myself have surfaced. This is why this particular task landed on my bucket list.  I wanted to challenge myself and prove to myself that I’m more than my hair or even my look. I wanted to stop and see how I react to such a significant change. Do I wallow in self-pity, drowning myself in criticism? Or do I own it like the fierce woman I am and meet it head on, seeing it as a learning opportunity to strengthen my mindfulness and Buddhist practice? I’m starting to come around to the latter and to my elation to boot, I have some of the best curls I’ve ever seen.

 

Be mindful. Be strong. Be fierce.

Oh, Just Shut Up

I’m currently working my way through Pema Chodron’s book The Places that Scare You. This is my first experience with one of her teachings and I must say that my favorite part about it is that she is not afraid to talk about her “human-ness”, which is a theme I am very fond of.  I think that too often we see other people as non-human.  We don’t see what we call their imperfection or their hang-ups and struggles.  We just success, whether it’s in the form of money, power, monastic robes, or anything else we consider a sign of success, which leads us to believe that “they” are something different than  “we”.

So, in light of Pema Chodron’s ability to talk about her human-ness in her practice and her ability to be inspiring through it, I thought I’d share a little of mine in my practice with the hope that it would show someone else that we are all in fact human.

I have a very hyperactive and perhaps untrained mind.  No matter how much meditation or mindfulness practice I do, I find that afterwards my ego goes “full speed ahead”, racing with thoughts, judgments, fantasies, and waves of ridiculous (and often times imaginary) emotions.  Of course, this leads me to doubting my practice, which leads to more ridiculous thoughts, which leads to more judgments, and the cycle goes on. More and more, though, as I get caught up in these ego-based activities, I find myself becoming mentally exhausted by the same old routine. Sometimes as I’m driving, I find myself mentally (OK, verbally) saying to myself, “Oh my gosh, just SHUT UP already”.  It’s like being in a room filled with noise and all you want is a brief moment of silence.  In fact, that’s exactly what it is.

I think sometimes in my practice I feel like because I have this hyper mind that I’m not normal or “I’m not doing it right”. I don’t think that’s the case at all.  The mere fact that I get exhausted by the constant reel of jibber-jabber going on in this noggin of mine I think is a step in the right direction.  We are all human.  Whether you are poor, rich, tall, short, etc., we are all human and we ALL suffer.  I think that’s the most important thing to remember.  We all suffer.

So, the next time you find yourself wrapped up in your “human-ness” thinking that you just aren’t doing something right, just remember- we are all wrapped up in our human-ness.  You want the proof? Are we all thinking and feeling? Then we all have human-ness to contend with.

September in Review

I figured I would highlight some of my discoveries of the last month.

Literature: September’s feature was Thich Nhat Hahn’s Peace is Every Step.  Simple yet practical, this book suggests very basic practices for mindfulness. He recommends practicing smiling and concentrating on your breath in order to bring yourself into the present moment. Although written about 15 years ago, I still find this book to be extremely relevant and helpful. I highly recommend it.

Health: As some of you know already, this month came the revelation and the witch hunt to eliminate everything that contains SLS (sodium lauryl/laureth sulfate).  What is SLS you may ask? It is the foaming agent found in everything from toothpaste, laundry detergents, dish detergents, shampoos, liquid soaps (hand soaps, body wash, bubble baths, etc.), and even some conditioners.  It is a highly toxic chemical that has been proven in over 16,000 studies to cause cancer, skin abrasions, hair loss, and if in too much concentration, death.  Due to the low concentration found in our cosmetic products, it is not the one time usage that is of concern.  It is years of exposure that is the problem since the skin absorbs so much of the chemical over time.

After making this discovery, I took it upon myself to empty out my bathroom of all of the SLS-containing products.  I threw out the majority of them.  After silently weeping over the vast amounts of money that was literally just thrown away, I did some research on what some good products and substitutions might be.  Below are some of the winners:

Earthpaste: This perhaps is the best product that I have come upon yet. While making your own toothpaste is possible with some baking soda, water, and some flavoring oil for taste, I thought Earthpaste was more well thought out, containing essential oils to kill bacteria and using edible clay as a base so that it wouldn’t be harmful if you swallowed some by accident. All of the product reviews from Amazon and several blogs were positive, and I have to say I have not been disappointed.  I will admit that the color is a bit gross (brown), and it takes some getting used to because it doesn’t foam, but it does clean my teeth and mouth so much better.  It feels like I just walked out of the dentist each time.  Also, I have found that my breath is better.  I absolutely recommend this product.

Sulfate-free shampoo: I have a recipe for a sulfate-free shampoo that I will be trying after I’m done with this, but I don’t really have any complaints about this product. I got it at the Heaven and Nature store on Jonestown Road. It doesn’t have a particular name. You can simply ask for the sulfate-free shampoo and you will receive a scentless, paraben and sulfate free, 8 ounce bottle. You can add essential oil (10 drops per oz) if you want a scent or you want something that will clean the scalp of bacteria (tea tree) or help hair growth (rosemary). 

As expressed in past entries, I have been experiencing severe itching, burning, and hair loss for some time and no clue as to where it was coming from. After trying this shampoo, I will say that I have experienced an improvement-less burning/itching and less hair on the comb (although I had a setback last week after using a protein pack that felt like it was going to burn my scalp off...the rest of my protein packs went in the trash). I’m not 100% sold on this particular shampoo (as I said I will be trying a new recipe after I’m done with this), but I think it is definitely an improvement.

Bar soaps: I don’t have a particular recommendation here, but I have been impressed with the more homemade soaps as opposed to Dial/Dove/etc. I used a goat milk soap that I bought from Heaven and Nature and found that it was gentler on my skin and didn’t have any skin irritation as I have experienced from liquid soaps in the past. I definitely recommend switching to bar soaps.

Soap nuts: [Insert sexual joke here] The jury is still out on these. Soap nuts are pretty self explanatory.  They are nuts that have cleaning qualities and you put them in the laundry to wash your clothes. Supposedly they have been used for hundreds of years (cue cheesy sound effects) in other countries.  When you use them, they leave your clothes scentless and you don’t have to use fabric softener in the dryer.  I purchased a sample and tried them last night. I think I liked them. I will say that they have a vinegary smell to them once they get wet, however, once the clothes go through the dryer they don’t have a smell. You can get soap nuts in liquid concentrate and then add a few drops to water, which I think I’m going to try.  I didn’t like throwing the nuts (which were in a drawstring bag) right in with my clothes because I wasn’t certain that they were washing the whole load.  So, jury is still out and I’m open to other options.

I think that’s about all. Til next month!!

Month of Zen Concluded

This month has by far helped me to re-acquaint myself with the foundations of Buddhism.  Rodney Smith provided deep lessons and several takeaways that I think will aid me on my path toward a more connected and enlightened life (I highly recommend the book- Stepping out of Self-Deception).

This next month I will be focusing my attention on sewing and absorbing my lessons I just learned.  I simply think it's pertinent to give myself an opportunity find my own way without having to be constantly guided.  Of course, I'm sure that by the time the month is over my sense-of-self will have taken over and all of the lessons I just learned will be skewed. At least I tried.

So! First up will be to finish the tank top that I posted a picture of a couple of months ago (it was only half completed).  All it needs now is a zipper and few touch ups and it is set to go.  Pictures to come!!

Namaste!

Buddhism: Interconnectedness

And this week’s post…

Interconnectedness.  This has been the focus of my practice this week. I’ve been thinking a lot about how we are all connected to each other and to other (non)living things. For example, for the past couple of weeks I’ve had the strongest urge to plant flowers, vegetables, anything as long as I got my hands dirty. Finally I caved yesterday and bought myself some seeds and some dirt pellets to get started (late in the season, I know).  However, as I thought about it, this urge fits into my journey towards interconnectedness. My energy in planting the flowers and helping them grow is essential to their well-being just like the production of their vegetables and oxygen are necessary to mine. However, it doesn’t end there.  With that little plant I am also impacting the bugs and insects, soil, and over all air quality for others. Through the mere action of me placing a seed in some soil, I am impacting the lives of so many.

In the wake of this horrible tragedy in Aurora, I think this lesson of interconnectedness is also incredibly important.  The fact is this wasn’t just a heinous act committed on a group of people.  It was something committed on everyone. Furthermore it was committed by someone in this global community. His actions are felt by victims’ family members, friends, loved ones, his own family members and friends, as well as neighbors, bystanders, and people who are otherwise unaffected but may feel heartache after reading about it in the news. Tragically, this disgusting and violent act is felt by so many because we are all interconnected. (Side note: My sympathies and prayers are with everyone who was directly affected by this.)

While interconnectedness has been the theme of my spiritual practice this week, I would like to also mention something that I read this morning in Rodney Smith’s book.  He was talking about how often times our minds fool us into believing that we are experiencing the heart’s desire of compassion and, yes, interconnectedness when in fact we are simply experiencing something that the mind has made up.  He followed this up with examples such as “nice substituting for kindness” and “seriousness substituting for sincerity.”  I admit that often times I am wondering if it is my heart or mind ruling a situation and sometimes I am easily sucked into believing it's my heart if I find that I am incredibly happy or feeling slightly generous one day.  However, I think the key here is to always question where thoughts and actions are coming from.  Even if they are truly from the heart, always question and investigate and be mindful of when the sense of self comes into play.

This coming week is the last full week of my intensive refresher on Buddhism. I’m slowly starting to think about what my next month’s focus will be.  I will probably be focusing on something a little bit more mundane-perhaps sewing?

Well, until next week! Namaste!

Buddhism: What is this moment?

This is actually last week's post, but I forgot to put it up here.

Last week my re-acquaintance with Buddhism took its all familiar turn toward confusion and muddled lessons.  The biggest problem I have in my practice is often that I twist or forget what I'm supposed to be doing.  I find that when I focus on my spiritual practice, it's so easy to delve into other aspects-religion, the metaphysical, guardians, guides, etc.-that I forget I'm simply here to experience the moment.  Of course, the Buddhist peer or teacher would probably say this is my ego attempting to distract me from itself and I would wager that this is most likely accurate.

While my practice appears to be losing sincere focus, I can say that my meditation and daily mindfulness practice has begun to bear some fruit.  Although still not easily identifiable, I've begun to recognize my own conditioning and its inherent suffering.

Two Sundays ago I was watching this video about Buddhism and the narrator was talking about "identity."  He mentioned how we tend to define ourselves by our permanent identity and yet we don't have one.  There is no permanent identity that moves from one moment to the next.  So, what are we holding on to exactly? I thought this was the perfect embodiment and teaching of the three lessons/realizations of Buddhism: 1) all is suffering, 2) all is impermanent, and 3) nothing has any self.

Rodney Smith's book taught me two lessons last week.  Firstly, and perhaps the most important because I'm often wondering how will I know if my actions or words are wise or unwise, ego serves my needs based upon fears and desires.  Thus, if my words or actions are based from my fears or desires I know they are coming from an unwise place.

Secondly, Smith talks about how our conditioning teaches us to resist our fears and things that are contrary to our  beliefs.  He says to overcome this resistance we should simply surrender to the moment.  To be honest, I'm not a fan of the word "surrender".  I prefer to simply say "drop my barriers."  I think it more accurately describes what is happening or what Smith describes is happening.

As I muddle through my murky lessons of no-self, suffering, and impermanence, I will leave everyone with these two questions- "Who are you? What is this moment?"

Buddhism: Increasing Awareness and Questioning my Sincerity

Last week I found myself trying to increase my awareness and identify my sense-of-self in my everyday activities. Even now I am aware of my mind thinking about what I’m going to do after I write this post instead of embracing the stillness of Now. By doing this, I’ve been able to see how often I move away from my suffering as opposed to towards it, and I’ve been amazed how often my mind tries to uncover or create a problem in my heightened awareness where this is none.

Rodney Smith’s book has continued to keep me on track and question my conditioning. I think most importantly he has provided me with reference points where I am able to identify where I am on my path and what I need to do to further my progress.

One of the more interesting things that he has mentioned is how our minds are constantly creating mental alternatives to our reality and seeking solutions to problems that are non-existent. It is the smaller conflicts of agitation, worry, restlessness, etc. that cause us the most suffering because of how they build up over time. As a result of these conflicts, the mind desires to manipulate a person’s reality because of perceived discomfort. For example, a person is agitated because a room is too cold, so she desires to change the temperature. In this particular scenario the person has perceived that the cool temperature is a negative thing and as a result has grown a negative attachment. Thus, as a result of this attachment, the person has developed agitation, a form of suffering. If the person were to examine the feeling of the cool temperature without any positive or negative attachment thereby letting go of her agitation, she would find that she would have no desire to manipulate her reality to suit her.

I think the biggest lesson I have learned (this week) from Smith is to question everything. The very essence of the Dharma is to hold a questioning attitude toward everything and rest on the certainty of nothing. Even in determining one’s practice, you have to question what you are doing and for what purpose. Smith mentions that even then there are only certain questions that come out of wise view. Those questions that start with “what” and “who” are much better than “why” or “how”. My take on it is that asking the question of “why” assumes that the subject of the question, which we have perceived through our unwise view, actually is. Thus, “what” is more appropriate because you are re-examining your perception of the subject and thus are able to reexamine your attachment to it.

The lesson that has me thinking the most this week is Smith’s words on sincerity and intention. He describes people as having 2 intentions in their practice-one that comes from the heart (primary intention) and one that comes from the mind (secondary). The primary intention, as Smith defines it, is always peace. The secondary is your mundane desires, conditioning, and suffering. Ultimately, you have to come to the realization that your primary intention is more important and forego the desires of the secondary. This is not always easy and frankly, this is what determines how serious you are about your practice. Of course, this has me thinking about whether I am able to do what is necessary and if my true intention toward enlightenment is strong enough. Have I ultimately experienced enough suffering from my secondary desires to know the value of peace?

This week I will be continuing on my month long dedication to Buddhism. Stay tuned for more insight. Namaste!

No-Self: Re-Examining my Perspective

Lately I have been disconnected and disenfranchised with my Buddhist practice, not because I don’t agree with its fundamentals, but more because of my frustration in what seems to be a lack of growth and commitment. As a result, I decided that I would take a month to refresh myself on what Buddhism exactly is and perhaps figure out where I am leading myself astray.

I have started reading Stepping out of Self-Deception: the Buddha’s Liberating Teaching of No-Self by Rodney Smith. With just three chapters in, I have to admit that I have already found many errors in my own practice. My perception has been all wrong.

In the first chapter of this book, I received my first “Aha!” moment. Smith talks about how we are not possessors of our minds, but rather our minds form “us”. Our minds created how we see ourselves, along with everything else in our lives. As Smith so aptly states, “We exist only because the mind thinks us into creation.” Thus, we cannot see ourselves as separate from our minds. We are whole. When we see both as separate, which we often do, we create a competition and divide between “ourselves” and our minds, which ultimately leads us down a path of suffering.

This idea of separation translates into how we approach our spiritual and everyday lives as well. There is this idea, and I am guilty of this too, that we must compartmentalize our spiritual lives and our secular lives; however if “the call of spiritual practice is to examine and understand what we are” and if we are to truly obtain a Wise View, how can we separate our practice from the way we live our lives and still obtain our spiritual Enlightenment? The answer is simple-we can’t. We have to come to understand that the sacred lies in the Now.

Smith also discusses something that I am admittedly guilty of and I know that several others are too, which is infusing Buddhist items and symbols with sacred meaning. This perception only inhibits us because we only feel spiritual when we interact with these items and practices. As I mentioned in the previous paragraph, Buddhism is not inhabited in any particular experience or item. It is inhabited in our general experience and perspective.

Finally, I think one of the most important things that I have read so far is Smith’s view on meditation, which is most certainly a practice that I have been struggling with. He describes meditation’s purpose as informing us about the true nature of relationships and interconnectedness. When aligned with these principles, we “lose our self-centered perspective, abandon our defenses, and release ourselves into the intimacy and ease at hand. There are no goals or direction, there is nothing for the self to feed upon, and everything is represented equally. The experience itself is sufficient. In meditation the struggle is that we feel less self-fulfilled but more spiritually fulfilled. To the sense-of-self, meditation may become frustrating because there is not and never will be vindication of our efforts. Frustration indicates we are caught in an unwise view.” This is extremely important. I often times create a “goal” out of meditation- what do I want out of it? What am I aiming for? Smith indicates that in itself, there is no goal other than to experience and at some point realize interconnectedness. To get frustrated or to aim for anything else is the sense-of-self (also called the ego self) calling out, which leads us away from the path we are trying to walk.

Each day I struggle with where I am in life and where I want to be, how to get there, etc. (As Smith would say, my sense-of-self is creating a problem and I am operating very much on a horizontal plane as opposed to a vertical one.) Ultimately, I’ve recently come to the resolution to simply live each day as the person that I want to be and to somehow rise above any situation and act in a way that I would be proud. While it sounds good, I realize that in this statement alone, there is an abounding sense-of-self. How do I change that? When I ask that question, I can feel fear well up inside of me as my ego screams, “Are you trying to get rid of me?! You can’t live without me!” It’s undoubtedly a scary thing as I have not known anything else but my interaction and life with my ego self, which is comprised of every decision I have made and every perception that I have. It’s hard to imagine that I would get rid of it. Or would I get rid of it? Perhaps I am making an assumption that shouldn’t be made.

Smith begins this book by talking about how Western Buddhism has forgotten about the Buddha’s ultimate teaching of no-self, instead concentrating on “sacred” items and practices such as meditation and retreats. I tend to agree. Often times when I am explaining to someone what Buddhism actually is, the words can’t seem to come to me. The words “lots of meditation” always seem to come to my mind, which tells me that I have fallen into the same trap that Smith describes. I can say that by reading his book, I find more depth to Buddhism and its meaning—something that I have been desperately looking for (or perhaps have just simply forgotten). The no-self lesson is the ultimate lesson of Buddhism—to escape the damaging perceptions of the ego self, which instigate suffering and pain—which will ultimately lead to the place of Enlightenment and the ability to truly experience awareness and the present.

Book Review: The Life of Milarepa

I was assigned (and actually read) this book in a Buddhist class that I took during college. My take on it this time around in comparison to the first time I read it is completely different.

The first time I read this book I thought Milarepa was amazing and the story of his life was simply incredible (some of it quite literally). I thought he was truly the pinnacle of what it meant to be a Buddhist. I mean he meditated consecutively for years of his life in hidden caves in Tibet, starving himself physically, but spiritually feasting off of the enlightening teachings of the Dharma. His death was a spectacle of sorts. The dakinis (Budhhist gods/goddesses) honored him and greeted him as he entered the heavenly realm and all was great. He seemed to truly be the saint that they made him out to be.

This time not so much. As I read the book, I realized how full of himself he was. Milarepa definitely came off extremely arrogant and at times elitist. Furthermore, his drive to meditate and realize the dharma teaching was a result of fear and penance for the evil deeds he had done in his youth. Ultimately, he didn’t want to get sent to purgatory, so out of that fear, he attained “enlightenment”. I find this discouraging because I have been taught that while one may not necessarily dissolve all of one’s fears, one can come to realize them and recognize when they are affecting our decisions, and yes, at times dissolve them. I don’t think Milarepa ever really did this which made me question his level of enlightenment. I suppose as I write this I have to realize that I shouldn’t really be one to judge considering I don’t have any real experience in the matter.

I think another thing that strikes me about this story (as it does the story of the Buddha) is his method of attaining enlightenment. He essentially runs from his life and what he did in order to find himself. I just feel as though if one is going to find enlightenment is it really through running from your life? To me, that’s not being mindful or compassionate at all. However, I do realize that this book is based off of the Tibetan beliefs, which are strongly rooted in the idea that enlightenment can only be attained through isolation and meditation. It is more the Western Buddhism that concentrates on mindfulness in everyday life. Furthermore, this story is dated through hundreds of years and techniques and ideas on how to practice Buddhism has changed since then.

Note- Milarepa’s evil deeds consisted of casting hailstorms and destroying crops in his home village so that his aunt and uncle, who treated him and his mom poorly, would starve. In so doing this, he also made the rest of the town starve.

I think this story is OK to read. I wouldn’t recommend it to someone who is just coming into Buddhism because I think it is a little difficult to absorb. I mean, I found it to be a difficult (and dull) read at times, particularly in the lengthy introduction, and I have been practicing Buddhism for three years now (not like that is any sort of indication as to my level of knowledge). However, I think it is an OK read for someone who is a little more advanced into the practice, perhaps as an inspiration, but more of a history lesson and to give some background and context.