Oh, Just Shut Up

I’m currently working my way through Pema Chodron’s book The Places that Scare You. This is my first experience with one of her teachings and I must say that my favorite part about it is that she is not afraid to talk about her “human-ness”, which is a theme I am very fond of.  I think that too often we see other people as non-human.  We don’t see what we call their imperfection or their hang-ups and struggles.  We just success, whether it’s in the form of money, power, monastic robes, or anything else we consider a sign of success, which leads us to believe that “they” are something different than  “we”.

So, in light of Pema Chodron’s ability to talk about her human-ness in her practice and her ability to be inspiring through it, I thought I’d share a little of mine in my practice with the hope that it would show someone else that we are all in fact human.

I have a very hyperactive and perhaps untrained mind.  No matter how much meditation or mindfulness practice I do, I find that afterwards my ego goes “full speed ahead”, racing with thoughts, judgments, fantasies, and waves of ridiculous (and often times imaginary) emotions.  Of course, this leads me to doubting my practice, which leads to more ridiculous thoughts, which leads to more judgments, and the cycle goes on. More and more, though, as I get caught up in these ego-based activities, I find myself becoming mentally exhausted by the same old routine. Sometimes as I’m driving, I find myself mentally (OK, verbally) saying to myself, “Oh my gosh, just SHUT UP already”.  It’s like being in a room filled with noise and all you want is a brief moment of silence.  In fact, that’s exactly what it is.

I think sometimes in my practice I feel like because I have this hyper mind that I’m not normal or “I’m not doing it right”. I don’t think that’s the case at all.  The mere fact that I get exhausted by the constant reel of jibber-jabber going on in this noggin of mine I think is a step in the right direction.  We are all human.  Whether you are poor, rich, tall, short, etc., we are all human and we ALL suffer.  I think that’s the most important thing to remember.  We all suffer.

So, the next time you find yourself wrapped up in your “human-ness” thinking that you just aren’t doing something right, just remember- we are all wrapped up in our human-ness.  You want the proof? Are we all thinking and feeling? Then we all have human-ness to contend with.